This is interesting, i must admit a bit of excitement in recording my thoughts and my journey through life. . . the reason I write is because I believe everything is either a build up to something big or something big, so i don't want to miss it.
ok, so It's 2013, july 1st. you know the date, it's on the top of the page. I'm 21, it's been some years since I last blogged.
I wish to start with an overview of what's important to me. (as i write i'm reminded of what my answers probably were the last i'm i wrote here.)
I want to be pleasing to my god. I want what i do to be honorable in His eyes. When it comes to internal decisions I wish that these two aforementioned desires would be my anchor. (I'm going to do my best not to type out prayers in these posts, but they might slip out.)
Grace, grace is the only way my life functions. I'm realizing that i'm not as afraid of real truth as i once was because I've already been found out and found wanting. I've disappointed and hurt enough that there's really nothing else you can take from me. . . . when i began to realize the fathers heart towards me and His love for me in the midst of my ugly ugly sin i was broken. I was broken not by guilt, but by the awareness that His love never stopped. are you freaking kidding me, His love n e v e r stopped. That's what hurt in the most productive way possible. Now I'm dead, ha, I like it. My flesh has died, I just can't carry it any more. I'm only sustained by grace. . . .
Soooooooo guess what, as far as i relate to the rest of you incredible people with your own unique stories and fears, you had better get used to viewing me like God does. I recommend you're quick to forgive because I'm not perfect. Not even mostly good. I will screw you over at some point, and I hate that. I wish (not really) that some part of me was strong enough to make promises, or that I could be good enough. The truth is is that anything good in my life has been a gift, an undeserved revelation of grace that i don't deserve. But the good news is i will make promises that God is everything anyone needs. This has been my experience X1000. So it's like I'm trading my character, reputation, value of a promise, attempt at purity, attempt of honor, and my mockery of love and trading them all for His. And you had better bet your last inch of skin that Jesus took mine and bore the wrath of the His own father. . . then rose from the grave, not quite sure how, except that He's awesome, and now we hang out.
so that said, It's important to me that God said that I'm his and the rest of you Mo Fo's can't do anything about it. This could really be the end of my story, and the end of this blog, but the fun part is now I get to walk life out (which is freaking awesome) It's like heaven on earth.
So I've been working at Wake Up Coffee co on Saint Simons Island Georgia for three and a half years now. It's cool because it's work but you get to make a positive difference in the world. I'm now learning how to not be too self centered. (learning) I've got four awesome staff that i get the privilege of helping out in any way possible. I'm learning how to promote instead of defend. I'm realizing the more I lay down and sacrifice the more I'm trusted with (this sometimes takes a great deal of intentionality.) Even Money, ha, I can't get rid of it.
You know what's way better the money?? Wisdom, if it were a girl she's be more valuable then rubies, and Hot! She's win every argument and leave feeling like you were temporarily in heaven. People who pursue her are blessed. people who hate her suck at life.
(ok so maybe i stole some of that from old hebrew proverbs, but it's true) I'd rather know what to do with 10k a year than be a fool with 600K.
Life's more rich that way.
All that I have time for now, sorry my thought are so all over the place. I'm looking forward to getting back into this whole writing thing.
