This is interesting, i must admit a bit of excitement in recording my thoughts and my journey through life. . . the reason I write is because I believe everything is either a build up to something big or something big, so i don't want to miss it.
ok, so It's 2013, july 1st. you know the date, it's on the top of the page. I'm 21, it's been some years since I last blogged.
I wish to start with an overview of what's important to me. (as i write i'm reminded of what my answers probably were the last i'm i wrote here.)
I want to be pleasing to my god. I want what i do to be honorable in His eyes. When it comes to internal decisions I wish that these two aforementioned desires would be my anchor. (I'm going to do my best not to type out prayers in these posts, but they might slip out.)
Grace, grace is the only way my life functions. I'm realizing that i'm not as afraid of real truth as i once was because I've already been found out and found wanting. I've disappointed and hurt enough that there's really nothing else you can take from me. . . . when i began to realize the fathers heart towards me and His love for me in the midst of my ugly ugly sin i was broken. I was broken not by guilt, but by the awareness that His love never stopped. are you freaking kidding me, His love n e v e r stopped. That's what hurt in the most productive way possible. Now I'm dead, ha, I like it. My flesh has died, I just can't carry it any more. I'm only sustained by grace. . . .
Soooooooo guess what, as far as i relate to the rest of you incredible people with your own unique stories and fears, you had better get used to viewing me like God does. I recommend you're quick to forgive because I'm not perfect. Not even mostly good. I will screw you over at some point, and I hate that. I wish (not really) that some part of me was strong enough to make promises, or that I could be good enough. The truth is is that anything good in my life has been a gift, an undeserved revelation of grace that i don't deserve. But the good news is i will make promises that God is everything anyone needs. This has been my experience X1000. So it's like I'm trading my character, reputation, value of a promise, attempt at purity, attempt of honor, and my mockery of love and trading them all for His. And you had better bet your last inch of skin that Jesus took mine and bore the wrath of the His own father. . . then rose from the grave, not quite sure how, except that He's awesome, and now we hang out.
so that said, It's important to me that God said that I'm his and the rest of you Mo Fo's can't do anything about it. This could really be the end of my story, and the end of this blog, but the fun part is now I get to walk life out (which is freaking awesome) It's like heaven on earth.
So I've been working at Wake Up Coffee co on Saint Simons Island Georgia for three and a half years now. It's cool because it's work but you get to make a positive difference in the world. I'm now learning how to not be too self centered. (learning) I've got four awesome staff that i get the privilege of helping out in any way possible. I'm learning how to promote instead of defend. I'm realizing the more I lay down and sacrifice the more I'm trusted with (this sometimes takes a great deal of intentionality.) Even Money, ha, I can't get rid of it.
You know what's way better the money?? Wisdom, if it were a girl she's be more valuable then rubies, and Hot! She's win every argument and leave feeling like you were temporarily in heaven. People who pursue her are blessed. people who hate her suck at life.
(ok so maybe i stole some of that from old hebrew proverbs, but it's true) I'd rather know what to do with 10k a year than be a fool with 600K.
Life's more rich that way.
All that I have time for now, sorry my thought are so all over the place. I'm looking forward to getting back into this whole writing thing.
Monday, July 1, 2013
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
HOLY SYNOPSIS (part 2)
Now I'm back home trying to recount the experiences I had in Atlanta. It strikes emotion, I'm faced again with realization that I have been deeply effected. What does it mean to live in poverty? What does it mean to be an outcast?
But God is there, He's with those who need him. He heals the sick and comforts the mourning.
If Jesus was often around sinners what makes us think his Holy Spirit would do any different.
My synopsis is that God is ALWAYS good and ALWAYS faithful. He's become my everything. That's all I am now
But God is there, He's with those who need him. He heals the sick and comforts the mourning.
If Jesus was often around sinners what makes us think his Holy Spirit would do any different.
My synopsis is that God is ALWAYS good and ALWAYS faithful. He's become my everything. That's all I am now
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
HOLY SYNOPSIS (part 1)
So four weeks ago God told me to step out of the boat. "Instead of doing what's been placed before you, I want you to hear my will and make it happen in your life. I want you to partner with me in your creativity and go after the dream I've given you."
I flew into Atlanta on Thursday morning the 2nd of September. I got picked up from the airport by an amazing friend and her mother. I spent my first hours talking with them and actually helping out with some math home work. (i like math) I got dropped of at 5:00, after a brief tour of the downtown Atlanta area. I started in Hurt Park and i just hung out. I remember falling asleep under a tree, and someone one woke me up and said to sit up because the cops were coming. Then the police officers told me to pick up my mat and move along.
I started talking to the guy that woke me up and he told me a little bit about how things work on the street. I told him what i was doing and how God told me to go to Atlanta to be homeless. He responded by saying i was one of those rich white kids that ran away from home. We talked for a while and encouraged each other and he gave me some advice about where to go and not go. His name is Moe, He's had lots of chances to be off the street and God's bless him with crazy favor for jobs but he can't escape the "poison," so he would always return to the street. He was on the phone with his women while we talked and he told me about how he was sorry for what he's taken her through, and how he hated going out to eat with her when he didn't have the money for the food because he couldn't stand watcher her pay the check. He wanted to be better but he would always come back to the "poison." So when people ask me if it's hard for people to get off the streets, or if people are happy on the streets, i think of Moe. He's definitely not happy, He hates where he's at but he's still kind and respectful to people. I don't know the answer but here's the story that made my heart understand the problem, the solution, and the one who makes all things new.
Then it started getting dark and I had no idea where to go. i checked my dying phone and saw i had a missed call from number i didn't recognize, it was Erin!!!! She asked if i needed a place to stay that night, and i obliged. I ended up staying there almost every night. She was a crazy blessing.
Later in that same night i met this guy who made me play guitar from my soul while he got high.
It was soooooo much fun. He later insisted that he be my manager and put me in clubs and that he'd take care of me. I gave him my number and he never called. (probably because he got it when he was high.)
Later in the days of being on the street i would get really nervous every time i was getting dropped off. I was spiritually fine but my body hated it. It was like i was about to jump of a plane. I thought i was just sick at first, but then i realized that i was subconsciously really scared.
It got better as time went on though.
What have i learned?
Sometimes we're so obsessed with being Christians. "Christian" actually means "little Christ" I went to Atlanta to be a little Christ, not a christian. So i never denounced my love for God or my loyalty to Him, but I held on to my religion loosely.
I flew into Atlanta on Thursday morning the 2nd of September. I got picked up from the airport by an amazing friend and her mother. I spent my first hours talking with them and actually helping out with some math home work. (i like math) I got dropped of at 5:00, after a brief tour of the downtown Atlanta area. I started in Hurt Park and i just hung out. I remember falling asleep under a tree, and someone one woke me up and said to sit up because the cops were coming. Then the police officers told me to pick up my mat and move along.
I started talking to the guy that woke me up and he told me a little bit about how things work on the street. I told him what i was doing and how God told me to go to Atlanta to be homeless. He responded by saying i was one of those rich white kids that ran away from home. We talked for a while and encouraged each other and he gave me some advice about where to go and not go. His name is Moe, He's had lots of chances to be off the street and God's bless him with crazy favor for jobs but he can't escape the "poison," so he would always return to the street. He was on the phone with his women while we talked and he told me about how he was sorry for what he's taken her through, and how he hated going out to eat with her when he didn't have the money for the food because he couldn't stand watcher her pay the check. He wanted to be better but he would always come back to the "poison." So when people ask me if it's hard for people to get off the streets, or if people are happy on the streets, i think of Moe. He's definitely not happy, He hates where he's at but he's still kind and respectful to people. I don't know the answer but here's the story that made my heart understand the problem, the solution, and the one who makes all things new.
Then it started getting dark and I had no idea where to go. i checked my dying phone and saw i had a missed call from number i didn't recognize, it was Erin!!!! She asked if i needed a place to stay that night, and i obliged. I ended up staying there almost every night. She was a crazy blessing.
Later in that same night i met this guy who made me play guitar from my soul while he got high.
It was soooooo much fun. He later insisted that he be my manager and put me in clubs and that he'd take care of me. I gave him my number and he never called. (probably because he got it when he was high.)
Later in the days of being on the street i would get really nervous every time i was getting dropped off. I was spiritually fine but my body hated it. It was like i was about to jump of a plane. I thought i was just sick at first, but then i realized that i was subconsciously really scared.
It got better as time went on though.
What have i learned?
Sometimes we're so obsessed with being Christians. "Christian" actually means "little Christ" I went to Atlanta to be a little Christ, not a christian. So i never denounced my love for God or my loyalty to Him, but I held on to my religion loosely.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
slight change of plans
So on Friday i went to grab free pancakes at the safe house down town in ATL and the people serving food were a band. They invited me to come with them to a couple shows in Alabama and Florida and i obliged. So now I'm on tour with a hard rock christian band. A Love Not Lost. (that's the name of the band :) I'm tired and ready to go home. we'll be back in Atlanta Sunday afternoon.
WHAT'S GOD DOING?!?!?!?!?!?! I'm so excited!
WHAT'S GOD DOING?!?!?!?!?!?! I'm so excited!
Thursday, September 23, 2010
On Monday afternoon I went to Little Five Points and decided to busk a little bit. It wasn't long before a man with a fancy camera came and asked if he could shoot me, I obliged. So he started doing all these shots and then three girls came up and smiled at me for a bit, then dropped five bucks into my guitar case, listened for a bit, smiled, and walked off. At this point i realized it was like a music video or something. so the guy with the camera also filmed this guy walking by with a guitar case giving me a nod of approval. (just to specify, it wasn't a video for me. I was in someone else's music video) Then i walked down to a place called Java Lords and someone bought my coffee :)
There's really no point to this but it was fun :)
There's really no point to this but it was fun :)
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Heaven on earth, yeah it's what we do.
The vision isn't to change people's social status. Love is my calling.
I heard today that going onto the street and being homeless was a bad idea because you develop the mindset of a homeless person. In contrast, at church we learn about creating a heaven environment where ever we go, as opposed to being conformed to the environment you find yourself in, it's so easy and so hard at the same time.
Ephesians 1:18I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, 19and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, 20which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, 21far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come.
Here's the plan for you.
1. Let God into your heart.
2. let him change the way you think. (repentance)
3. Be yourself (because now you're awesome)
4. Live in grace (let God be your judge, not the devil.) -power comes with that somehow.
That's how I feel right now anyway
Holy spirit come, holy spirit dwell. Make me a temple according to your word.
I will follow you into the unknown.
I heard today that going onto the street and being homeless was a bad idea because you develop the mindset of a homeless person. In contrast, at church we learn about creating a heaven environment where ever we go, as opposed to being conformed to the environment you find yourself in, it's so easy and so hard at the same time.
Ephesians 1:18I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, 19and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, 20which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, 21far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come.
Here's the plan for you.
1. Let God into your heart.
2. let him change the way you think. (repentance)
3. Be yourself (because now you're awesome)
4. Live in grace (let God be your judge, not the devil.) -power comes with that somehow.
That's how I feel right now anyway
Holy spirit come, holy spirit dwell. Make me a temple according to your word.
I will follow you into the unknown.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
fun times . . . God is good eh?
Today i hit the streets at about Nine am. My heart felt pretty heavy for the first part of the day. I felt like God was saying to rest, that was kinda hard for me. I felt like since people found out what I'm doing and they talked about being so inspired by what I'm doing that I had some expectation of doing something amazing or making some big evangelistic action that would change the face of Atlanta. So when God said to rest I feel like he was getting that spirit of performance off of me.
Around ten thirty i went and grabbed lunch BY MYSELF!?!?! (i've been telling people that i never eat by myself) so i broke my "policy" of always taking someone out to lunch. So i rested, kinda slept on and off, played guitar, and then i found myself worshiping. So i worshiped for a bit and noticed someone eating her lunch in the park near where i was sitting and I congratulated myself for being such an awesome witness :) (just kidding!!!) Jesus said something about not being a hypocrite and doing things in public to be noticed by other peeps. Just after my worship experience I noticed someone else with a guitar and promptly scurried over to say hey. He was singing a worship song and I joined in with my voice and guitar. Then i led a couple songs while he went around praying for people (SUPER AWESOME!!) God strait up set that up. Then i played guitar while people walked by and two people at separate times stopped and asked me to play an original and one offered to record one on his camera. (at some future time)
Then i went to a magical place called little five points :) I sat on a bench for a while and got stared at by a police man and saw a middle schooler walk up to a super shady dude and talk about school stuff. Then the police man told the kid to go home (or something like that)
Later I walked to a creepy coffee shop and made some friends. We talked for around 3 hours and had some really good convo. One person there was super spiritual and really cool. She didn't believe in God (i don't think) but she was nice. I told her that if she got a word for me i wanted to here it. she looked a little confused so i asked her if she heard things for people. she didn't really know but she could kinda relate to what i was saying but not completely, so i asked her if she was friends with the holy spirit. I told her to introduce herself and that He was super cool. :) Later that night Erin, whom I've been staying with, took me to the best restaurant in ATL, The Vortex. It was soooooo good.
The end . . . . or is it?
FYI my average day looks like this.
Leave Erin's house at about 8:00am
Hit the streets by 9:00am
chill and do whatever until whenever (around 10pm)
this part of my day usually has lots of convo with the homeless and not homeless, lots of lying down trying not to fall asleep, as it isn't legal. and lots of experimenting with alternate tunings on guitar and a freakin boat load of divine appointments (DA)
take the train back to Erin's part of town (any time from 8-11)
get picked up and go somewhere out or just back home
go to sleeeeeeeeeeep!!! speaking of which,
goodnight
Around ten thirty i went and grabbed lunch BY MYSELF!?!?! (i've been telling people that i never eat by myself) so i broke my "policy" of always taking someone out to lunch. So i rested, kinda slept on and off, played guitar, and then i found myself worshiping. So i worshiped for a bit and noticed someone eating her lunch in the park near where i was sitting and I congratulated myself for being such an awesome witness :) (just kidding!!!) Jesus said something about not being a hypocrite and doing things in public to be noticed by other peeps. Just after my worship experience I noticed someone else with a guitar and promptly scurried over to say hey. He was singing a worship song and I joined in with my voice and guitar. Then i led a couple songs while he went around praying for people (SUPER AWESOME!!) God strait up set that up. Then i played guitar while people walked by and two people at separate times stopped and asked me to play an original and one offered to record one on his camera. (at some future time)
Then i went to a magical place called little five points :) I sat on a bench for a while and got stared at by a police man and saw a middle schooler walk up to a super shady dude and talk about school stuff. Then the police man told the kid to go home (or something like that)
Later I walked to a creepy coffee shop and made some friends. We talked for around 3 hours and had some really good convo. One person there was super spiritual and really cool. She didn't believe in God (i don't think) but she was nice. I told her that if she got a word for me i wanted to here it. she looked a little confused so i asked her if she heard things for people. she didn't really know but she could kinda relate to what i was saying but not completely, so i asked her if she was friends with the holy spirit. I told her to introduce herself and that He was super cool. :) Later that night Erin, whom I've been staying with, took me to the best restaurant in ATL, The Vortex. It was soooooo good.
The end . . . . or is it?
FYI my average day looks like this.
Leave Erin's house at about 8:00am
Hit the streets by 9:00am
chill and do whatever until whenever (around 10pm)
this part of my day usually has lots of convo with the homeless and not homeless, lots of lying down trying not to fall asleep, as it isn't legal. and lots of experimenting with alternate tunings on guitar and a freakin boat load of divine appointments (DA)
take the train back to Erin's part of town (any time from 8-11)
get picked up and go somewhere out or just back home
go to sleeeeeeeeeeep!!! speaking of which,
goodnight
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